If you exhale deeply around this blog, dust will fly.
I always see things that I want to write about, but then I sit in front of my screen and it remains blank.
I find myself struggling with getting words on to the page and believing they are worthy of pressing publish.
So here are some snippets of thoughts/responses I have had in no particular order.
I have fallen victim to the evil Dexcom rash. Back in July, after I returned from Friends For Life I took a brief break from wearing Dexcom. The first sensor I put on after my trip gave me a slight rash, and I only got around 6 days of wear vs my normal 21-36 days. I pulled it, and put a new one on a new site. That was the one that made me realize I had a big problem. It was only a few days before my leg was swollen and rashed, I took the sensor off and it was awful. The rash lasted days-and I have never been so itchy. I took to the Facebook Dexcom Rash group....and I have found a temporary solution. Here are the steps I take:
-Emulsify some hydrocortisone on the location, let dry.
-Spray steroid nasal spray on the area, let dry.
-Place a DuoDerm Extra Thin hydrocolloid patch in the shape of the sensor (I tried tough pads. Allergic!)
-Place two layers of bioclusive barrier tape over the the hydrocolloid
-Place sensor on top of the bioclusive and shoot right through.
It's a lot of steps and a sensor change is time consuming, the products are extremely expensive...but it's worth it having the access to my trending glucose numbers. I still only get around 7 days out of a sensor, and as my insurance doesn't cover them I am spacing out the use of the sensors as much as I can. This has resulted in some unsavoury blood sugars, highs that I don't catch as quick, and lows that required hundreds of calories, resulting in my gaining a few lbs back after a brief period of loss.
I saw this article the other day and I am still trying to wrap my head around why this was/is not bigger news in our world. I was diagnosed at a time where the term juvenile was still used to describe the type of diabetes I had, I spent important years of my career development working for an organization that focuses on children with type one diabetes. If you know me, you know that my life has involved being engaged in my husband's health as well. I wrote this article over at A Sweet Life about his new "pre-diabetes" and/or non-diagnosis. It's been a frustrating time in our healthcare system, trying to be a wife first and a worrier second has been a challenge for me. He recognizes me trying. His doctor is shrugging it off, which means he is shrugging it off.
We have been eating well lately, we haven't been going out for meals and I have been putting a huge effort in to cooking absolutely everything from scratch. Low refined carbs, high in whole grains and stuff that really fuels you. We walk together and exercise together....but that's it. That's literally all that can be done. It's so FRUSTRATING. His blood sugars have been stable, no real spikes....we even had Chinese food a few weeks ago and I made him check his sugar an hour after and he was around his normal waking sugar (which is slightly elevated, but nothing the doctor seems to think is in a danger zone.) I have requested a c-peptide test from his doctor. And so we wait. We wait to see which side of the statistics my husband falls on. And I hate waiting.
As the summer winds down, and I don't have a whole lot of positive to look forward to (my work contract ends in November which means I will be unemployed again, and that's stressful), I am finding things...lackluster. I don't have a whole lot of inspiration to be creative or spread joy. I am not sad, or unhappy in life in general...but nothing really appeals to me. I feel a bit monotonous. Last year at this time I was planning my wedding, so I was easily distracted at the ennui that often blankets me as the air gets colder and the days get shorter. I would like to plan a vacation, but with an uncertain future of employment, it's hard to do both time and cost-wise. I wish I had some stability in my professional life, it's really irritating to know that I don't. I worked so hard to get myself through university and get some experience in the "real world", I kind of wish finding a new permanent job would come just a tiny bit easier. I don't think I am entitled to every job out there, but to at least be considered for these ones that I am applying for would be great.
I wish I could find some creative energy, that makes me feel alive. Like when I have a huge burst of ideas to write about and can't type fast enough to get my thoughts out. I just don't have that energy. As of now the energy I have is spent doing boring adult things like exercising, cooking, cleaning and job searching (and of course working at my current contract work....which is extremely intense).
I wish there was a conference that I could afford to go to really soon. I would really benefit from seeing and talking with some of you.
Some Good News
All that being said, I was recently invited to take part in a Patient Orientated Research Network by Diabetes Action Canada. This is very exciting for me as someone who is a strong advocate of patients actually being consulted before organizations and researchers make big claims about life with diabetes. Engaging patients is never, ever a bad idea if you are doing research for bettering the lives of those patients. I don't have all the details yet, but I will of course blog about my experience the best I can. I am excited to actually have my voice heard....hopefully :)
That's about it right now. I don't have a lot of inspiration, or words of wisdom these days. I am relatively hum drum.
EDIT: As I reread this post it came off a whole lot more negative than I intended. I am okay, really. I am not in a bout of depression (THANK GOODNESS), just feeling a little less than motivated by life these days. It happens....I think it's called being an adult ;)