Saturday, September 7, 2013

I felt unsafe

Trigger warning: I talk about rape and consent in this post.
This is not a diabetes related post.

It's not just here, it's everywhere.We saw it when the world clucked its tongue at Miley Cyrus for her performance but hardly miss a breath when Robin Thick sings about "blurred lines" of consent.

There's, what I am going to boldly call, a social revolution waiting to happen and I think Halifax is a great launching point for it. Perhaps it's my eternally optimistic world view that sees all of the horrendous press about female sexuality as a way to show that people can be inherently good, and we can change for the better once we are educated.

Then I log on to my computer and I read this opinion piece written by a woman. As I read through it before heading out for the afternoon, my stomach was in my throat. It's a disgraceful piece, opinion or not. I let it sit in my brain as I ran with my dog at the park. I tried to think about why Mary may feel that way, but I started to realize that I have friends who feel that way, I have family who have made comments on Facebook not too far off from what Mary said.

It made me feel bad.

I chased after my dog and realized that I was wearing a low cut tank top leaving my cleavage exposed, and then I felt unsafe. Because, if Mary can spew the hate she did in her article and so few people see issue with it, even the Chronicle Herald prints it, then there is definitely a wider bubble. It isn't just Internet trolls who say these things, real people truly believe that women should not be dressed scantily because it's basically asking for it. I gathered my things and threw my sweater on, because I didn't want to pass a Mary and feel the heat from her eyes.

I came home and saw that a fantastic local blogger posted a response to Mary. Please, take the time to read Allison's post here

I already wrote about how I think that society as a whole needs a shift. I wrote about it in response to the Rehteah Parson's case back in April, you can see that here

Here's the thing; it isn't MY job to make sure someone doesn't judge me for wearing a low cut top at the dog park. It wasn't Rehteah Parson's job to say no to multiple young boys when she was so inebriated she was vomiting out a window. It isn't a female university student's job to wear a long dress or pants because some dudebro can't keep it in his pants. It's not our job as women to protect ourselves, it's everybody's job to control themselves.

Why are there still people out there chanting about not needing consent, like we saw at Saint Mary's University this past week? Why is Robin Thick getting away with a song about blurred lines of consent but Miley isn't given a pass for dancing to that song?

It's because of people like Mary, and that needs to change.

Please, Chronicle Herald, stop giving hatred like Mary's a voice.

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